is it me now???

life is unexpected...assalamualaikum w.b.t...

as I recall myself on my past few years, I realized that life is totally unexpected...even when I entered form 1 at my beloved secondary school also, I dun even know what was I doing there..hello,org masuk SMK Sultanah Asma tu semua stock2 nak belajar cam gler okay...hehe...

But then, i am not the type of student who always put an aim regarding my study...dari kecik g aku taktau nak jadi pe ble bsar..ble org tanye..I'll said bla bla bla...tiru je la ayat kwn2 dlm kelas..so what??huhu...

But then, i realize smth that I dun realize during that moment...I like to talk..haha...suke sgt bercakap..tp takla ckp 24/7..aku suke gk mendengar,and suke bg pendapat..and suke ke dpan..cam bg pendapat ke,bg idea ke..camtu la..hehe...

Tringat plk zmn skool dlu...entering form 1...form 2..mmg ade mood study g, tp ntah...tak suka aa pressure diri study nak mati..tak dpt pe2 pon..and my prinsip...study utk exam itu tidak bagusssssssssss...sy tak suka begitu okey..sy suka study utk tau..utk gain knowledge..and forever..hehe =) (kemain ayat...haha)

then i am used to be a police caddet...hello...5 thn okey...sgt best..tp aku bru discover aku de mgrain ble aku masuk maktab...knape??sbb aku ngat dulu2 tu yg aku sakit kpala nk pecah adalah kerana aku letih berkawad d tgh panas...tp aku suka...coz...bla g wart performance@pertandingan,rase cam dah tul2 polis..waaaaaaa...tambah2 girls' school,mesti la nk jd terbaekkkkkkkk...rite???

entering upper secondary,dah sgt malas nak belajar..and aku plg tak suka subjek menghafal...letih dowh~...ape la..hafal kejap je..astu lupe..so,i will focus more on understand...biar aa dpt sket,yg penting berguna..and plg aku tak suka adalah sejarah..eh,aku takleyh cope la...biarpon add math and physics susah...tp cam thriller sket kut..dr thriller menghafal...der~!!...

sape sangka pas aku masuk matrix aku akan masuk ke maktab plk kan???erm,sbb aku maen2 la....aku kn tak suka pressure blajar..tu la matrix piinter tak brp kick...tp takdela kantoi...cukup2 mkn...and aku dpt la offer dr UPM...sains instrumentasi...hehe...aku tatau nape aku apply tu...sbb sdap kut bunyi dia.hehe...then i reject...i choose to go to maktab perguruan tawau...

bachelor education in science...der~burn la matrix i...takpe..anggap pengalaman..jgn anggap sesuatu itu sbg kerugian...

tak sangka plk g maktab blajar bnda yg sepupu 14kali ape yg aku blajar time matrix...so,ini memudahkan laluan utk score time foundation kat maktab..susah dowh~ketaq gk..hehe...

and sape sangka skrg aku blum dipostingkan setelah tamat pengajian sebagai seorang guru pelatih di institut pendidikan guru kampus tawau since 2005...hello... 5 thn stgh tu...aku doakan segalanya akan jd unexpected lg utk aku...tp yg baik2 la... (^_*) wink wink

~hehe...zmn mude remaje...bsama my sis...b4 g skolah..

mama amik gmbar ni pg2 buta lepas subuh syapie..~

maybe next entry i will tell bout another aspect of unexpected things in my life.... =)

today's enemy...superlicious

Assalamualaikum w.b.t...wink 2x...owhoo...cam dah lame tak update..sbb internet yg sgt siput kat ip tawau plus 2sem yg sangat sangat sangat sangat superb bz sbelum tamat pengajian...i mean it ok...erm...of course...dah tamat 5 1/2 crack years...it's been really tough but yeaaaaaaaaaaaa...i made it yo~!!and utk meraikannye...aku memanjakan diriku enjoy dlu b4 posting...so,mcm menjadi satu kemestian plak bercerita ttg musuhku ni bla balek umah...sape???hahaha...jgn salah sangka...musuh yg membawa kebahagiaan...check it out~!

b4 meeting the enemies

teman berjumpa musuh

lokasi berjumpa musuh

bekal untuk berperang dgn musuh...walaupun berperang mulut...cari pasal ngan aku ek musuh...

masa yg ditunggu2...haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...musuh2 aku dah sampai...AWAS~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Musuh #1 Royal Masala personal pan

Musuh #2 cheese meatball masala

musuh #3 chocolate volcano..........mmg berlava...meletop!!!~

musuh #4 fetuccine carbonara

musuh #5 garlic bread...

and tapau 6 biji doughnuts g...waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...superlicious~!

walaupun korg musuh terhebat....aku suke ngan korg....marilah kte berkwan baek...huhu..abaikan segala diet2 tu wart seketika...hehehe

muke kepuasan selepas berbattle dgn musuh...perut..maafkan saye...hehehe..kena sopan kalo dah wart salah... (^_*)

am i okay???

reflect back to pass few days,i am totally 0 charged...no energy...no feeling...heartless...drowning...helpless...and today i just can pray and hoping for miracle will always be by my side...and I hope no more hurts will attacked my heart, no more sorrow will cover my body, no more pain will be with me...all those feelings make me tired, disappointed and breathless...i have nobody to pampered me, nobody to lend his shoulder when i cry, nobody will watch my smiles when i'm happy...and the things is now recovered to become better...and i hope it was the last time i will suffer from that kind of pain...i am willing to be scolded, to be punished, or to be neglected because of work...but please not because of trust...please...i beg you...and i hope u realize that i am not strong enough to face this obstacle...because the more u do, the more i forgive u...but by the time i couldn't forgive u, nobody knows what will happen to my soul...everyday i am praying for the happiness and i hope it will be everlasting..cause nobody knows how am I suffered by just loving u...

dua jam saja...

dua jam saja...
smth miracle will fated...
as for me...
Allah had gave me little of strengths that I asked from Him...
Thanks Allah...

"Engkaulah Maha Pengasihani dan Maha Mendengar"

Amiiinnn....

third week...

owh...the days are getting calm..makin ari makin dah leh adapt ngan suasana sk taman tawau yg stp ari ade kekecohannye yg ribut bangat sih...aduss....cam ape yg berlaku...and kalo korg g sk tmn tawau nmpak ramai bdk2,guru2,tkg kebun,tukang sapu dan juga nurse klinik pergigian yg sentiasa memakai mask...yerp...telah disahkan seorang pelajar tahun 1 kreatif,yg kakanya ada di smk tawau II,dalam satu kawasan jgk ngan sk taman tawau...dua2nya dah positif H1N1...owh...kes ke 11 di tawau...and kalau g bilik guru skool kami,sumernya berharap utk skool ditutup but then our headmistress won't apply for it from the health department selagi takder org lain yg berjangkit(diz is my expectation)...

and sejak kebelakangan ni,kelam kabut skool itu,pertamanya last week sbb ader seorang ustaz yg special..yg juga guru pelatih jqaf IP tawau,ustaz rosli...sbb pe dia special...erm.maybe org yg knal dia tau...starting from the moment he was introduced in the staff room...keluarla ayat2 begini...
"hello,gud morning...sejak2 ppsmi dimansuhkan ni,makin pandai plak aku speaking bah..."... ini la plg lucu...tp mcm aku simpati nape perlu dipertikaikan keistimewaan ustaz itu...let it be...sumer org ade cara tersendiri utk express kepelikan diorang aite???

and this week,dah minggu ke-3 aku di sini,and aku pnya rph dah byk...let say 1 week = 4...
so 3weeks should be 12...but then cam bertuah coz de kwn2 seperjuangan yg kna wart byk g rph...and akud ah leh hafal nama bdk2 klas 4 cekap...4 amanah lum g...coz 1week = 1time i enter their class..sorry ek murid2 ku...and antara bdk2 yg mencuri perhatian aku...haziq,zul,hani,nadia....erm...and ade nama2 classmate dan pensyarah di kelas aku..tu la snang ingat...cthnya..nadiah mohammad, liyana, sri yana, zaidi dan ismail husin...nape sumer org name sama??tak pnah pun aku dnagr org aireen aneza setempat aku belajar,mengaji,atau mengajar...sesekali kurasa teringin...ewah2...nyanyi plk...

and aku dngar ip takde air...owh,sian new students...but u guys need to face the challenge...itu plg utama...and akan jd rutin...and my junior yg senior kpd junior baru dah mula rasa pe yg aku rasa...hope they succeed...insyaAllah...

and the most important thing...i miss him...lately,sgt bz,krg communication...but always pray for his happiness and successful...

byknye perkara berlaku...

starting from I menjejakkan kaki I ke bandar Tawau ni byk sungguh perkara yg berlaku...byk tak ksah masalh parah tu yg I ksah...sesampai je I kat Tawau,buat kali ke brpnye I tak brp pasti,but then ade penyambut tetamu yg bkn menyambut kitorg but then to welcome the new students..bebudak KPLI Jun intake,kitorang pun tumpang ler dua kaki satu badan atas bas tersebut...satu minggu,tiring but enjoy giler...oh...ape yg tiring..???sbb g klas takde klas...jadual kosong tp kena g klas,ape kes???sila jwb...hahahaha

ape yg best...klas kami mostly start 11 a.m...itu yg best!!!ade 3 paper je diz sem...and no, dh dlm practicum week..owh SK tmn tawau...2 months i'll b wiz u...first day report on duty, b4 assembly dah dpt timetable...gila advance cegu dia...bagus bagus dan bagus...then kena berucap plok dlm assembly...the next day, i've started my class..oh,since sk tmn tawau ada 7 klas for each year,so...thee are a lot of replacement class smasa jadual kami free...

wei,ngantuk gler....takpe i'll keep u guys updated since i am very sleepy...thanks...

three more to go...then packing

owhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...sgt bahagia killer paper dah lepas....energetics in chem is really killin' me softly...hehhee...cam tajuk lagu la plak...and for diz past week,sgt berusaha study with my fwens...wah,dah cam pusat tuisyen dah mawar 003...and noe wut,sgt happy coz all da spot came out...wah wah wah....maybe berkat doa kpd Nya supaya dipermudahkan segala2nya...Alhamdulillah...

and ade 3 more papers g to go...chaiyo2 aireen...and to my best buddy ever,bdk2 math kat gaya,aimi,leelin,nora,chris, yan, ida, jojo, ah ling, mar, and mandak....gud luck....sgt2 merindui kalian...and kwn2 di sini pon slalu gk bercerita ttg kalian...

and menghitung hari to go home...wah...it was a paradise of the world actually,tolak mabul....hehhe....mabul 2nd place ok...umah dulu baru mabul...and dah terbayang char koey teow kat simpang jln berhampiran traffic light...owh,marvellous char koey teow (lu org tauke kdai must pay me royalti)...n trademark as...is nasi kandaq royal....and mee kari...and cendol pulut...n pulut durian...wahhhhhhhhhhhhh....

and i miss my bed,my tv,my sofa...wah...cam aku plak yg beli...n my family of course....hehehe...owh,dan ade satu bnda baru yg aku tak dpt rasmikan...haiwan berkaki bulat....hehe...kuat mkn and blaagak cam kaya...and my best fren ever...amal,ili,pdart,shayra,elah,nad,itik,eton...sgt2 rindu kalian....kalian membuatkan aku sentiasa nak balik sememnanjung....=p

emosi skrg sgt stabilll...cam nak melompat girang selepas lepaskan semuanya bbrp minggu lps...and the relationship also work so excellent...luv ya mr paul smith....hehe sempat g de nama die...k guys...pen of...do miss n luv u all...doakan kejayaan gue and i'll pray for u guys too...
daa~

why should diz happen to me during this critical moment???

hate to feel this way...
exam still left bout 2 days...
but i am thinking bout the things doesn't matter...
wake up aireen...
be strong inner...be strong...
it wouldn't hel if u just think the way u are thinking now...
be positive...
and pray for ur own happiness..and successful...
hope when i wake up tomorrow...
everything will flows according to the rite path...
-p.i.e.c.e-

mcm takut jgk sikit2...

...sampang mangazo,the world is ours...

...kundasang,i'm not in da pics k...sbb sorg tngkap,takkan both of us nak masuk pics..lu pk la sniri (jan'09)

...memoirs kat kk,b4 cuti pjg,hang out wiz those lil c's kat kk..and the pics showing the view of tg aru(dec'08)....

...mabul - world's paradise,w'pun de hal yg menyedihkan tp ttap menyejukkan hati bila ingat balik (mac'08)...

all those memoirs make me feel more stronger sometimes...

all the memoirs make me feel smiling all the time...

but then i'm afraid that I will lose him...

I'll pray that we will end with marriage...

-end-

yesterday...tomorrow and today....=)

24th march...she was born...i didn't even know it was the same as my birthday till my sis told me so...so cute...so small...so and so...what a miracle...soft face,still pure..and so innocent....luv u AISHAH HALIDA...only after having a gud news for few hours,then my sis told me that she will be going to my long ya's house...sgt sedih...tak sempat pun along nk jumpe...nak balik!nak balik!....dah la tgh praktikum...how come i escape classes...attendants is 101% ok...IT WAS YESTERDAY....

practicum week...sgt penat....sgt ok...sgt...tp when we look at their faces...feel really need to give them smth...they came to scool with a big hope...their parents had trust us to teach them....i'll promiz to myself, i'll try my best to become a great teacher one day...diz is the medium...diz is just a starting...so...the starting part is the most important part...i won't let my starting to become the end...even i had to stay up, even i got a blue eyes on the next day, even i have to spend a lot of RM for them...it is priceless when they gained smth from me...trus me~!!!IT WAS ALSO YESTERDAY....

guru penasihat n murid-murid...hehehe =p playing moment...

distribute the racket to all of them...

b4 playing,must know the rules and regulations first...

no class at all...spending time to mark upil's worksheets...sometimes they make me smile,angry and also funny...hehehe =p quite cute...it was the last day for them to practise the long jump...tomorrow is the day for fizi,helmi,liana,fadilah,farid zul,kartika and muliana...and was absent today...nvm,they will at least go for bronza...and they had remember me...luv them so much...they are a good listener...gud luck boys and girls...IT WAS TODAY~!

whut should i do first...???so many things in my mind....practicum,PGPI,practical,AISHAH HALIDA,and...bla bla bla....aireen is happy and tired rite now...happy is important...although you are tired, but if you are happy,sleeping with smiling is GEORGEOUS...and that is TOMORROW....

*miss mr paul smith also...hehehe #_#

kdg2...

kdg2...sy mudah terasa...
kdg2...sy mudah marah...
kdg2...sy mudah menangis...
kdg2...sy mudah bertahan...
kdg2...sy mudah menipu ape yg sy kecewakn...
kdg2...sy mudah terseksa...
kdg2...sy mudah dipujuk...
kdg2...sy mudah sejuk...
kdg2...sy mudah bersedih...
kdg2...sy mudah tersentuh...


smua kdg2...tp selalunnye...semua pun berlaku serentak...camne tu??susah aa...
same gk cam 2day...
sy sgt2 sdih tp sdih tu tak dpt diluahkn...
snggup g sy ckp sy tak sdih smata2 nak bat org lain happy...
tp ape yg akan terjadi kt sy kalo sy trus camni...
kalo ckp plk nmpk mcm terlebih manja...sket2 nak mengadu...
tp...
inilah sy...lebih mudah pendam dr bersuara...
sedih, terluka, tertipu, terabai...semuanya bercampur baur...tp sy msti tabah...
ade sorg gigirl ni gto sy...kesabaran itu indah...
jd sy mcm dah berpegang ngan kata2 gigirl ni...thanks gigirl...
sy hrp...mmg de hkmah di sbalik smua ni...sy redha dgn ketentuan Illahi....
wallahua'lam...

hate n liars...

it seems to be fated dat i hate to be around all the liars...but then life is all about it...everywhere there are a lot of liars,fake,pretentious...and sumtimes we dun realize dat we are also in da "liars tribe"...admit it...nobody's perfect...or...nobody's completely perfect...melainkan rasulullah SAW...so, if u want to judge others, please...please...please...looks into the mirror and speak to yourself first...dun blame the others too much till u forget that he or she is also a normal homospahiens as u are...do i spell it rite???i really hate liars...and fake...but then...the worst attitude ever dat i've really hate n faced is...backstabber...there is sumtimes a gud reason enuff for to be a backstabber, but most of the time it is totally negative...who cares in nowadays world...nuthing is more valuable than self-satisfaction...

for the hate that i dun like the most, i'll try my best to avoid it...but then...life is life...have to face the others altough u like it or nope....hope i'll becoming more tough n gain full of strength in da future...insyaAllah...

FOR BETTER OR WORSE

Created by mysecretlife16

broken smile
starless sky
grab it all and
say goodbye
sticks and stones
may scar my skin
but words slice
through my soul within
cut my wrist,
black my eyes
you won't stay
let's tell some lies
tragedy unfolds tonight
bury me in memory
with blood on my
hands I give you my heart
for worse or for better
it's only a start
roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet and so are you
but the roses are wilted
the violets are dead
now the sugar bowl is empty
and my arm is stained red

feel brand new...

assalamualaikum...diz site is re-created to re-branding myself...bkn pe...i am a sort of person who is quite easy to get bored wiz the same looks...the same things goes wiz my bedsheets...kept changing from the 1st time i stayed in hostel...since 2004...since matrix...huhu...and the new one i got from aussino..rm37 after 20% discount...no choice...so mr paul smith had chosen the one with pink fairy tales as the theme of my bedsheet...quite cute..but beauty lies on the eyes of the beholder...total expanses spent til dis momen...bout...$400...waa..cam air...laju...sgt2 laju...but then i am very satisfied with the way i spent those cash...no regrets....

...diz he one wiz my feel brand new brand sheet...

...de otromen, my bolster, bantal free gift carefree, n bantal aries...

...diz is the store which i bought the bedsheet...

"Home is where the heart is..."

maybe i'll just pen off here for diz 1st one...nuthing much to say...there is a site dat i love to surf...quizilla.com...but not answering the quiz, but read thru the poems and stories...here are one of it...enjoy n feel it...

Incompleted

Created by maddieflames

Created by maddieflames on Thursday, January 01, 2009

I liked the begining scene,
The middle was the light of day,
The ending is not finished,
And its not going to end okay.
Trying to complete the story,
Don't know which road to take,
You held on to my heart for a moment,
And now it starts to ache.
Do we end up together?
Or do we drift apart?
I'm over thinking this too much,
And now I'm back to the start.
The story can't be finished,
But we can't end the show,
Not even the greatest writer,
Knows the right way to go.