am i okay???

reflect back to pass few days,i am totally 0 charged...no energy...no feeling...heartless...drowning...helpless...and today i just can pray and hoping for miracle will always be by my side...and I hope no more hurts will attacked my heart, no more sorrow will cover my body, no more pain will be with me...all those feelings make me tired, disappointed and breathless...i have nobody to pampered me, nobody to lend his shoulder when i cry, nobody will watch my smiles when i'm happy...and the things is now recovered to become better...and i hope it was the last time i will suffer from that kind of pain...i am willing to be scolded, to be punished, or to be neglected because of work...but please not because of trust...please...i beg you...and i hope u realize that i am not strong enough to face this obstacle...because the more u do, the more i forgive u...but by the time i couldn't forgive u, nobody knows what will happen to my soul...everyday i am praying for the happiness and i hope it will be everlasting..cause nobody knows how am I suffered by just loving u...